


Hush-Hush. (Or: Confidential Chaos.)

by GenerallyGentle



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: (Really they think it's a secret but pretty much everyone knows), Copious amounts of fluff and angst in hopefully equal parts, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Non-linear timeline/narrative, Seam has depression and Jevil has pyschosis-esuqe symptoms. That'll come up eventually., Secret Relationship, Update: Seam's depression is now a topic because I'm a depressed bastard.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-08-20 23:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16564820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenerallyGentle/pseuds/GenerallyGentle
Summary: A series of short stories and ficlets across Seam and Jevil's relationship.From when the court jester and court magician dealt in covert card games behind their leaders' back, to the musings of the past from a lonely ex-mage and a "free" ex-joker.





	1. Tired, Tired

**Author's Note:**

> (Me, holding onto these two with all my might: my children now.
> 
> POV is bound to change chapter to chapter, because I can't keep it straight - and neither can they.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seam holds to the fact that is absolutely, definitely, certainly NOT his fault.  
> But my gods. Jevil is a cute sleeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff  
> TWs: [None]

Their first night together is as wonderful as it is... A complete secret to anyone but them.

Seam supposes that it's mostly on him, having had befriended the court jester behind the back of his king.  
(Sure, there was never an explicit statement to keep him from doing this. Just a simple, quiet suggestion from his king that perhaps his time would be better spent on "Less foolish matters." Though a suggestion a suggestion, it carried the weight of an order either way.)  
But Jevil was... Fascinating.  
Far to fascinating to leave alone after their initial meeting.

It was the jester's idea anyways! Who was he to say no?

So here he lay.  
After all the games had ended, and the Jester had insisted that he stay. On a bed far more plush than his own. In a room so much more colorful than his own - the floor scattered with chess pieces and board games and cards of all sorts. Staring at the silver, glittering eyelids of the jester lying before him instead of sleeping.

Jevil had been asleep for the good part of an hour now, the slow wind down of a semi-insomniac who had efficiently talked himself unconscious.  
But Seam couldn't even manage to talk himself into closing his eye. 

He feels like if he shuts his gaze for a moment he'll lose track of something important.  
That it will slip through his paws and leave a hollow, empty feeling behind in its wake.  
It seems foolish. Simple-minded. The only thing before him is the quiet, peaceful face of the court's jester, eyes moving rapidly beneath his eyelids and a sleepy, open mouthed smile.

Despite everything Seam finds himself smiling.

He rationalizes it, in this moment.  
He's a scholar. Of course he would be drawn to the unknown. To the fascinating.  
It wasn't that unusual to have a subject such as this... Someone or something that picked at one's brain, or served as a source for one's own picking habits. Something to sort through, to gain knowledge on...

But the rational disappears as Jevil shifts, head dipping forward and tucking against the fluff of Seam's robe neck with a contented, tired trill.

Seam, in all his knowledge and experience, decides that he is entirely, royally screwed.


	2. First date (+denial)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fair makes a fine first date.   
> Even if one doesn't... Quite know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff  
> Tws: None
> 
> I was super, duper inspired by this post:  
> http://zzzora.tumblr.com/post/180017644566/omg-okay-so-hear-me-out-jevil-takes-seam-on-an   
> on tumblr, by an amazing blogger who you should definitely follow!!  
> I don't know if I did this idea justice, but I'm hoping I did!

For once in his long employment within the court, Seam was actually looking forward to the annual festival.

Typically, as part of the court's higher ranked employees the festival's preparation drove him half around the bend, and in the end he would find himself far to stressed and frustrated to do anything besides sleep the night of the celebration away.

But this year's preparation had been different from the very start.  
More lighthearted enjoyment, less sleepless nights and all that.   
Two weeks of work had passed by in a flash compared to what he had experienced before, and sooner than he expected he was stood in the doorway of the transformed castle courtyard - staring out at the festivities with a growing sense of mirth and pride-

Seam is jolted from his thoughts as a hand tugs on the arm of his cloak, a voice sounding just after in an amused stage whisper.

"Psst, hey, hey!"

The mage smiles to himself for a moment before turning to where the voice had come from, head tilted and button eyes spinning.  
Jevil is floating just high enough off the ground that they make eye contact immediately, and Seam notes that he is void a large majority of his jester gear -aside from the almost characteristic duochrome hat- and is absolutely beaming from ear to ear.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks, intertwining his fingers behind his back and staring at Seam expectantly.

Seam pauses briefly, taking a second to swallow the anxiety that the question provoked before nodding gently.  
He had agreed to this after all - a quiet suggestion from Jevil on the last day of prep: that perhaps the day of the festival would be   
a good chance to wind down after all the work that he had put into it- and there was no real reason to back out now.

"Wonderful, wonderful!" Jevil chirps, hands emerging from behind his back to grasp onto Seam's arm with a grip far softer then the darkener had expected, and began pulling him eagerly towards the courtyard stairs. "They finally set up the carousel! I want to get there before anyone else does." 

Seam laughs softly, reaching his free arm around to place a hand on Jevil's own and picking up his pace a bit in order to keep from tripping. 

"I thought you might enjoy that." He says simply, unable to stamp down the joy bubbling up from his soul and out into his voice. 

Jevil giggles merrily, and Seam was taken aback by the look of utter joy in front of him - the narrowed eyes that twinkle beneath the strung up fairy lights and take his very breath away.  
They hit the bottom of the stairs soon after, and arm in arm they make a bee-line for the glowing, spinning silhouette in the distance.  
-  
Seam actually rather liked the carousel.   
A structure of metal powered by magic and electricity, holding a series of slowly bobbing plastic animals spinning slowly around the interior, every inch of it glowing and flashing with various lights.

He had picked on of the calmer moving animals -one that didn't take his feet to far off of the ground for comfort- and rested his head on the metal pole beneath his grip, listening to the soft twinkling music coming from the ride around him.

Jevil had picked an animal quite a few in front of him. A duck, actually, much to Seam's amusement.   
One that rises far higher, a sight that nips at Seam's hackles when the ride happens to speed up a bit but prompts a series of almost child-like giggles from Jevil.   
Perhaps Seam is just far, far to frightened of the concept of falling.

They moved on after a few go-arounds.   
Jevil stumbling exaggeratedly away from the ride, snickering quietly into one hand and the other holding onto Seam's own, fingers intertwined and gripped tight to keep himself from tumbling over.

Seam's stress had almost all but faded, and he tells himself that he just... Forgot to untangle his fingers from Jevil's own when the darkener finally righted himself, and if he pulled back now it would just simply be... Rude.  
Now he's walking hand-in-hand with the court jester, sneaking behind booths and rides to avoid the majority of the crowd, chattering back and forth quietly about nothing in particular - the smell of various foods heavy and sweet in the air.

The warmth and happiness is all but palatable.  
-  
The next few stops disappeared in a whirlwind of thoughts.

The tea-cups were the worst stop. All the spinning began to make Seam nauseous after one round, and the heaviness in the air didn't help dull that sickness.  
The eagerness of his dat- friend, Seam corrected himself- didn't help all that much either, Jevil rapidly turning the middle wheel of their cup until they were both practically plastered to the inside of it.

Seam was the one stumbling away this time, arm hooked over Jevil's shoulder to keep his balance and a hand pressed against his stomach nervously.

Jevil giggled, bringing a hand up to brace against Seam's own in an attempt to be comforting.

The cotton candy is an apology. A pink, fluffy, sweet in his mouth apology. Picked off the directly off the stick and shared between the two of them as they plod quietly towards their final destination for the night.

The ferris wheel.  
Seam's only request for this trip.

The towering ride that had caught his eyes with its slow, languid motion and glittering, flowing light show.   
Maybe he was just a sucker.

But sucker or not, it didn't matter.  
All that mattered was stepping onto the gondola, hand in hand with the court jester. 

They settled into their seats, Jevil instantly leaning against Seam's shoulder, smiling from ear to ear in an almost... Drowsy sort of way.  
It was calming. It was quiet.   
The gondola clunked into movement, the only noise in the silence and the only noise that would occur for a long stretch afterwards.

Jevil's fingers tighten around his own, nuzzling his cheek against Seam's shoulder with a contented sigh that Seam soon echoed in kind.  
The ferris wheel raised them higher and higher into the sky, and for a moment, closing his eyes...  
Seam felt like nothing in the world could weigh him down ever again.

The air sounds with a barely audible, teeming giggle.  
The moment and his face are cradled in soft, claw tipped fingers. Cherished.  
And then it is broken, with the gentle press of lips against his own, nervous and shy in their approach.

Seam's eyes open slowly, taking a moment to process the last few moments among the soft creaking of the ferris wheel's rigging.  
Jevil is hovering just in front of his face, cheeks flushed and expression uncharacteristically anxious, and for a moment all Seam can do is stare.

"I-" He starts, pausing to clear his throat, watching as Jevil's face contorts into a shaky smile. 

"That... This was wondrous. Thank you."


	3. A series of meetings - old and new.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of meetings and a series of events.  
> Seam has some time to ride a roller coaster of feelings and memories both old and new as he deals with the questing of the heroes of legend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Angst and Fluff, somehow. Hurt/Comfort I guess?  
> TWs: [None] (I think)
> 
> Guys, this is like 2,000 words and I'm going to perish.  
> I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but I had to get this idea out of my head, and I couldn't move on until I dealt with it.  
> I'm not even sure if the result is even all that good, but I did it. And it's out there now, so. Enjoy.

"You know something." 

The statement was quiet. Just a hair about a whisper.  
But it was enough to catch Seam off guard as the child before him sets the dark candy they had been holding back onto the counter - their purchasing interest a now broken ruse.

"Hm?-" The sound was heavy in the back of Seam's throat, and when he continues on it feels like he's trying to speak through an attempted strangling. "-You have to be more specific, I'm afraid."

The lightener -Seam struggled to recall a name and came up empty handed and wondering if he had even been given one in the first place- narrows their eyes slightly and gives a huff of impatience.

"A weird prisoner. He told me you knew something - you're hiding something."

In two sentences, the aura of uncaring around Seam began to crack, and the forced confusion in his voice feeling like a poisonous untruth against his tongue.

"A prisoner with an odd manner...?" He feels as if he's going through the motions, the faked confusion propped up by a very real layer of anxiety as he forces himself through the throws of this interaction - intent on holding his cards as close to his chest as possible, just in case. "...No, you couldn't possibly be talking about HIM...?"

The vagueness of his statement seems to annoy the lightener a bit more, earning a quiet grumble and a glance over their shoulder to where they had left their companions waiting outside.

"He said something about a key." They say after a moment, turning back to face the shopkeep.

Seam sighs quietly, ears drooping and shoulders sagging a bit as he realizes that... This is a relent or suffer type of situation.  
That keeping his mouth shut would turn this quickly into lose-lose territory.

"...I see." He murmurs quietly, prompting the lightener before him to perk up slightly - eyes blinking slowly instead of narrowing further as Seam had expected. "After all the trouble I went through to lock him up, you want to release him?"

The lightener smiles a bit, bringing their hand up into a motion that Seam knows means "yes" in handspeak.  
A simple response with a weight they couldn't have known.

"... Hmm, now that you mention it, it could be troublesome if he was left alone..." He finds his hand resting on his chest, pressing against the familiar cold of metal tucked between his cloak and his fur. "Yes, perhaps it's better if you Heroes dealt with him now...?"

"After all, it's not as if whatever happens will matter in the end." He shrugs a bit, the choking feeling at the back of his throat wavering slightly as he manages a nervous laugh. "Perhaps a little chaos might be fun.

The lightener raises an eyebrow, but the tenseness in their posture has all but faded, the frown that had been all but rooted onto their face upturning into a smile.

Seam returns the expression best he can, fishing a hand under the fur collar of his cloak and grasping the line of string looped around his neck, snapping it off with a sharp flick of his wrist.

"So then, take this." He holds the loop out over the counter, the key part -a section that had been easy enough to stow away, broken part way up it's stem and retaining its bow- glinting in the low lantern light of his shop. "If you're so driven, find the other two pieces, and get someone to fix them."

"I'll even give you a hint - walk where the stars don't shine."

The lightener reaches over the table, grasping the string just beneath Seam's own fingers and pulling away, flinching momentarily as the almost supernaturally cold metal makes brief contact with their hand before they fumble the item away into their pocket.  
They take a moment to recover before bring a hand to their face, holding their fingers flat against their lips before motioning their hand back towards Seam; "Thank you."

Seam laughs a bit, reaching out to the bit of humor he could find in this situation. A sick sense that prompts another nervous chuckle from his mouth.

"Anyhow, if you succeed, come back here and tell me! Good luck!!" He pauses for a moment and takes a breath, allowing the next words to tumble aimlessly from his mouth, dripping with acid. "If you call THIS luck... No, it's more like a curse."  
-  
It takes half a day for the heroes to stumble back into his shop.  
The whole group -three people stood side by side- takes up far to much space for Seam's comfort, but who was he to deny their patronage?

The leader came close to buying him out of Dark Candies, muttering something low under their breath about healing versus carrying space. But it isn't the words that catch his attention.  
Instead, his eyes are drawn to the breastplate of their amour, in which sits a three hued patchwork key - whole again and tied securely around their neck with the same ruby string that had been around his own only hours beforehand.  
A sight so simple, yet takes every semblance of control not to reach out and snag into his grip. To grasp and hold again.

He can't pretend that he's not paying attention.  
That the glint of the key doesn't pull his eyes to the leader's sword sheathed and waiting on their belt, or the axe resting heavy and dangerous on the warrior's hip.

It takes all of his composure.  
All of his impulse control.

To ask them not to hurt him.  
-  
Another day passes...

He had been resting when the heroes returned.  
Oddly enough, he was awoken from the near dead sleep to the sound of...  
Bells?  
And... Arguing?

Stumbling up from his makeshift bed behind the counter he rubs the sleep from his eye just in time for the first hero -the leader- to push through the curtain and into his shop, quickly followed by the other two.  
The warrior was visibly and audibly angry, swearing and shouting at the leader as the prince tried desperately to stand between the two.

The leader rolled their eyes and continued wordlessly forward, regardless of the warrior's shouting...

And as Seam's eye finally adjusts, everything around him unblurring with a handful of button spins and a shake of his head.

The sight that came into focus before him felt almost unreal.  
The leader's fingers curled around the swirling blue and yellow grips of a scythe, the curled blade hefted over their shoulder - haloing their head in a way that would be ominous if he didn't know exact what it was.

The DEVILSKNIFE.  
The lightener before him was holding onto the DEVILSKNIFE.

The shock felt like a kick to his stomach and Seam found himself pressing a hand to his lips to keep himself from shouting.  
He truly hadn't expected them to do it.  
But they had.  
And here they were before him, an old friend now extended out over the desk in a careful hold.

For a moment, all he could do was stare.  
But the leader was soon to break the freeze in time as they smiled and spoke.

"Thought he might do better here then with us..." They say, ignoring the increasingly noisy screeching from the warrior over their shoulder. "Just a hunch."

"A hunch." Seam echoed, hands moving unconsciously across the expanse of the desk to hover over the weapon's handle. "Heh... You're more observant then I gave you credit for."

"Tell me about him." The leader murmurs, tightening their fingers on the weapon and pulling it away slightly, tilting their head back enough for Seam to see their eyes - focused intently on his expression with a fading smile.

Seam's own fingers pull back a bit. For a moment he regards the lightener with a narrowed eye before the smile on his own face returns full force.

"He... Was a funny little man. Once, the court jester. I, the court magician." 

"Were you friends?"

Seam jumps a bit at the interruption, raising a hand to his head and scratching nervously at the patch in between his ears.

"A friend...? Could I consider him a friend...? Perhaps, perhaps not. But he was the only one who matched me in the games we used to play."

The leader extends their hands back across the desk, visibly loosening their grip.

"What happened?" They ask quietly. The sudden silence across the shop is almost agonizing.

"... One day, he met a strange someone. And since then, he began to change. He started saying bizarre things that didn't completely make sense - but didn't completely not make sense, either." He grimaces, holding his hands above the weapon that held the focus of this conversation - talking about someone who might be listening felt rude, but the words seemed all but unstoppable at this point. "Soon, he began to see the world as a game, and everyone as its participants."

The leader seems to flinch a bit at that, further uncurling their fingers.

"As the court mage, and his only companion, I was forced to lock him away... Or, rather, lock US all away, in his own words." He laughs uncomfortably for a moment, struggling to move past the uncomfortable implications. "Since that time, the strange words he's said have stuck inside my cotton... And my view of this word has become darker, yet darker."

"Reflecting on these old memories, I think, perhaps - I missed playing games with him. And I do wonder, if I hadn't been asked to lock him up... Would I have found a little more purpose in my life...?"

The leader finally seems to relent, fumbling the DEVILSKNIFE forward into his hands, eyes wide and wild and full of what Seam can only place as sorrow.

His fingers curled around the DEVILSKNIFE's grips on instinct and every feeling that he had once had wielding the sycthe rushed back at him; The inital wave of nausea, the rush of excitements that bubbled in the form of laughter light in the back of his throat, the joy of closeness - a confirmation that Jevil was *still alive*, that he was *still in there*.   
And the new feelings that nearly swept him away, the sadness, the wild mania and confusion, and overwhelming...  
Loneliness.

He wasn't even aware of the liquid bubbling up at the corner of his eye untill it was pouring down his face, a watery smile following as the hero's leader draws back a bit, visibly concerned.  
He was happy. Happier than he had been for so, so long.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps.  
The word refused to stop bouncing around his skull, disintegrating bit by bit until it seemed all but meaningless between his teeth.   
Perhaps not. Perhaps.

"Thank you." He says the words quietly, huffing and stumbling over the words and into a wild giggle. "I don't know how you managed it, but you did. And I cannot express how impressed I am."

He takes a handful of deep breaths, the shaky noises like a blade through the quiet that had fallen - even the warrior had gone silent, staring narrow eyed and slightly slack jawed at the shopkeep.

"Perhaps you three may truly be "Heroes" after all... But Jevil was just a taste of what you'll face from now on." A chill creeps down his spine, and he tampers down the wave of nihilism that falls bitter in his mouth.

Instead, he holds his hands back out towards the heroes' leader, slipping the grips into the lightener's still open palms - watching as they sputter and stumble for a moment to properly grasp the weapon before shooting Seam a questioning look.

"I am so glad that you brought him back for this little visit... But I can't keep him.-" He waves a hand in the air as the lightener opens their mouth to protest, stopping them in their tracks. "Not yet, at least. The world has changed so much since he left, and I wish for him to see it. You don't have to use him, at least not in the way this form is intended to be used, but please take him with you. Perhaps you can make up for what I've done... By allowing him to see the world change once again."

The leader straightens up, tightening their grip on the DEVILSKNIFE briefly as a look of understanding dawns across their face.  
Their expression softens, and they smile wider than Seam has seen in their previous visits.

He beams in response despite everything.

"Return to me when your adventure is over. I promise I'll take him from you then. I promise."  
-  
Seam was closing up shop for the night when the news began to spread across the field, quiet whispers against willing ears.

The king had been dethroned.  
It was over.

He casts his eye to the fountain of darkness in the distance, lips pressed together in a terse line as it flickers and dims slightly but remains in place.  
The heroes would be back soon. And he had to be prepared.

He filled his time with cleaning up the clutter his shop had accumulated over the years, sorting away odds and end as best as he could with shaking hands - the anxiety pounding in his ears with each stuttering beat of his SOUL, almost loud enough to cover the sound of approaching footsteps.

Leaning on his cane he made his way to the shop's doorway, more than prepared for the two figures that greeted him upon stepping out.  
The warrior stood just behind the leader, DEVILSKNIFE in hand for a brief moment before she tosses it towards him - a move that Seam would have found more negligent if he wasn't so excited.

Moments before the weapon hits his own hand, the situation shifts.  
The scythe changing in a flash of light, and the resounding echo of bells and laughter.

A hand intertwines with his own and a beaming face fills every inch of his vision, needle sharp yellow teeth and narrowed eyes sparkling with golden pupils cycling through symbols that Seam couldn't place the meanings of in this moment, though he couldn't care less really.

His voice catches in the back of his throat, and he chokes out a laugh alongside the only words he could think were appropriate.

"Welcome back, old friend."


	4. A small moment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things you can't avoid, as much as you might want to.  
> Or: Jevil knows when quiet is better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter type: Fluff-ish  
> TWs: Uh, idk, maybe some stuff about depression? But yeah.

There are things that you can never completely avoid, even if procedures are taken to do so- and Seam accepts that idea.

That doesn’t mean he has to like it.

The court mage sighs, rolling limply onto his side.  
The bed didn’t necessarily feel comfortable, but he still didn’t want to leave it.  
He felt so tired. So fatigued. So, so, so… Over this.

He knew what it was. He was used to sudden attacks of depression, ones that managed to get through the safety net of his daily taken potions.  
That didn’t make it any less… Annoying?  
Yeah, that seemed like the right word for it.  
Annoying.

Jevil was bound to show up any minute now.   
Seam was late for breakfast, his absence was bound to be noticed, especially by the more sharp-eyed court jester.  
He had taken enough time struggling to convince himself into truly getting up that he had effectively skipped it entirely.  
The issue itself was already overwhelming, and the longer Seam thought about it the more he wished he could simply melt himself into the stitching of his quilt and vanish.

And that only got worse as the sound of the door squeaking its way open registered dully in the back synapses of his brain and settled in his stomach like a rock.

“Seam?” Jevil’s voice is quieter than Seam expected, a gentle chirp that greets the air like the faint ring of a bell. “You didn’t come to breakfast. Are you okay, okay?”

Seam sighs again, poking his head out from the edge of his comforter and propping himself up slightly onto his elbow.  
He focuses his eyes onto the jester and manages to conjure a small smile despite himself.

“Hello, Jevil.” He says, equally as quiet as his partner had managed - the rough scratch of his still sleep coated voice causing him to flinch. “I… May not be feeling to well this morning.”

Jevil steps slowly into the room, sliding the door closed behind and making his way to the edge of the bed, placing his hands on the mattress and pushing himself up onto his tip-toes to make eye contact with the mage.

“Are you sick, sick? I could tell the kings if you wish! You could take a few days off and-”

Seam waves a hand and closes his eyes for a moment, a well known signal between the two at this point for the jester to pause.

“Jevil, I’m not…” He pauses himself for a moment, moving his hand down to scratch idly at his chin in thought. “I’m not exactly ill. At least, I haven’t come down with something that isn’t somewhat typical.”

“Oh?” Jevil quirks an eyebrow and pushes his hands down against the bed, hefting himself into a more comfortable looking position floating just slightly off the floor. “Will you be able to work, work?”

Seam can’t help but laugh to himself, shaking his head a bit and moving his elbow out from under his weight, allowing himself to drop back onto the bed with a bit of a huff and a faint fluff of his stuffing.

“I’m not sure.” He says honestly, closing his eyes and pressing his cheek harder into the quilt beneath him.

Jevil is quiet for a moment, but Seam can practically hear the gears in his head beginning to turn, and the quiet click of something falling into place a moment later.

“Do you want me to get your potion? Or do you want me to stay, stay?” His voice is surprisingly steady, but the quiet has worked its way out of his words and have settled in a more normal Jevil-like range.

“... Stay, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Poses] What is up my pals? I've had one hell of a time the last couple of months, and the concept of this chapter is a big reason for that. Depression is a dick, ya know?  
> I'm going to try to update this story a bit more, even if it means shorter chapters. I hope you guys don't mind more drabble sized things that are more 500-700 words rather than 1000 or so words.  
> Also, this one is more dialogue heavy, which isn't my usual style but.   
> It looks good, at least.


End file.
